


Stereotypes

by orphan_account



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Multi, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-21
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2017-12-09 02:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 5,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/768963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One chapter stories about the States based off 50 States Stereotypes in 2 minutes video.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alabama

* * *

**Alabama: Our state bird is the NASCAR**

* * *

Alabama didn't care what anybody said; he didn't care if they laughed at him or called him stupid. They just didn't understand. They didn't understand how exciting it was to watch the cars zoom by on the track at high speeds.

"I don't get it," Louisiana commented as he ran a hand through his freshly combed blonde hair. "They're just driving in a circle. Anybody can do that."

"Shh," Alabama pointed at the television screen. "Watch."

Louisiana sighed and pulled out his phone, he found this 'sport' as about appealing as he found golf.

Alabama didn't let it bother him. NASCAR was great entertainment as far as he was concerned and in the end that's all that mattered.


	2. Alaska

* * *

**Alaska: I can see seasonal depression from here...**

* * *

To say that Alaska was a lonely boy would be the understatment of the month, no year...no _century_. It would be the understatment of the century. It's not hard to see why; he's not connected to the physical landmass of the United States! He was up north, more north than Maine, and yes spending many month up at his house alone day after day has its effects of people...states. Which is why Alaska was the way he was.

Now, he wasn't exactly like Russia; he didn't 'KOL' when upset and he wasn't really crazy. Alaska was just...clingy, yes clingy is a good word for it. Whenever the states had their meeting or when there was a family gathering he would pick one of his sibilings and stick with them the _entire_ time.

States like Nevada, New York and Michigan found this profoundly creepy. This was mostly due to Alaska's size; he was a giant compared to all of his sibilings. Having a giant hug you and squeez you and...cling to you was just plain weird, and the fact that he could pop up out of nowhere made even more creepy. Other states like Hawaii, Georgia and California (when he's not in his 'fix it' mode) don't mind it at all. They enjoy his hugs and squeezes and just having him around.

"Dude, he's like," California tired to expliane to Nevada and Louisiana. "He's like having Russia as a bodygaurd but like, without the crazy."

Alaska didn't really care what they said about him, as long as he wasn't lonely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm...I think I made this one kind of sad...


	3. Arizona

* * *

**Arizona: Keeping Indians in and Mexicans out!**

* * *

"That's so unfair and unconstitutional; I would know, I helped write it." that's what Massachusetts said when he found out about the law.

Arizona told him to shut up because he didn't know what it was like to have people sneak into your backyard all of the freaking time! It took it's toll on the state and all these new people were making her fat...

"Oh please, Ah'izona you ah not fat." Massachusetta rolled his eyes.

Arizona looked at the Masshole, why had she let him over her house again, "That's not the point!"

"So, what," he asked. "Ah you gonna build the fence so high it becomes impratical?"

"If I need to." They were in her backyard now, walking nesr the afore mentioned fence.

Massachusetts shook his head, "unconstitutional."

Arizona was about to tell Massachusetts off when she noticed something; a hole that led from one side of the fence to the other.

"Is that a hole?"

Arizona felt her eyebrow twitch slightly, "Dammit..."


	4. Arkansas

* * *

**Arkansas: Great sceanery, brilliant people...I'm sorry, we got Wal-Mart.**

* * *

 Arkansas was much like his Uncle Whatshisface in many ways.

They were both soft spoken, polite and virtually unnoticied by the world; includign the people who are supposed to be closest to them. But for all of their similarities there are key differences. The main one being that his Uncle was a _nation_. That meant that even though he went unnoticed he still had his provinces with him. Arkansas on the other hadn was apart of America, the most recognizable nation in the world; that made his invisibility worse.

"Don't worry," Georgia patted his head. "It'll be a'ight...uh..."

"Arkansas," he reminded her. "And how is it gon to be a'ight? No one knows me!"

"That ain't true!" Georgia exclaimed, forgetting the fact that she forgot his names moments earlier. "You got lots of really good qualities!"

"Name one."

"A'ight I will! Let's see," she sat there for a moment and thought. "Um...well, you gots a lot of Wal-Marts."

Arkansas face palmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah. In my experience Arkansas is a state that people most often forget about.


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

**California: Gay Mexican boob job computer hippies that really want to direct...**

* * *

Califonia, that state not the personification, is usually summed up with thoughts of Los Angeles, which is in south Cali. But people tend to forget that there is a north California as well, and it's pretty different from the south (it snows up there!).

This lovely little fact brings us to, wait for it... _Califonia_ , the personification not the state, and his split personality, which is cause by his northern and southern reigons. Not many personifications share his special conditon; Italy was divided, the north and south wach has its own personification. It was the same way for the Dakotas and the Carolinas. But not California, he's all by himself.

And his two personalities couldnt' be more differnet; his main personaility is a relaxed type of person who likes hanging out, partying, flirting with girls and guys, movies and talks like a surfer dude and a valley girl. His  _other_ personality is a serious type who lies to fix and build computers, he's a hyper-environmerntalist and can't swim and speaks with proper grammar; the personality also wears glasses. As different as they were the personalities  _did_ share two qualites; they both  _loved_ sushi and they both have a crush on the exact same person...state.

California himself is unaware of his condition and since no one knows what exactly causes his personality switch it leads to...rather strange situations.

Like the beach incident, which is why Nevada and Louisiana are no longer allowed to take him to the beach anymore. The includes  _all_ beaches, not just ones in America.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: California, Nevada and Louisiana are the Bad Touch Trio of America. If each one had to be matched up then Cali would be Spain, Nevada would be Prussia and Louisianan would be France.


	6. Colorado

* * *

**Colorado: SNOW! I mean cocaine. We're also known for skiing.**

* * *

Many people would consider Colorado's minor obsession with the white powder a problem. They found it unhealthy and unnatural.

But Colorado begged to differ; he found it perfectly natural and he was pretty sure he was pretty sure he didn't have an obsession; he just enjoyed it more than most. But who could blame him, the stuff was absolutely beautiful. It was perfectly white and smooth and felt wonderful when he slid it through his fingers.

"See, it's thoughts like that," Oregon said with her hands on her hips. "That has us worried!"

"It's not really a problem." Colorado insisted.

"Yes it is!" Rhode Island yelled. Colorado rolled his eyes at his sisters and pulled his had over his head. "You can't keep messing with this 'white powder'; it's bad for your health and it's illegal!"

"It's not illegal," Colorado stared at her blankly. "How can it be illegal, it's everywhere."

"Everywhere?"

"Yeah."

"Oh no!" Oregon yelled. She looked over at Rhode Island, "We have to do something!"

"Let's go tell dad!"

The two girls ran off to find America leaving Colorado very confused.

"Snow's not illegal. Crazy girls..."

 


	7. Connecticut

* * *

**Connecticut: Great schools, because there's nothing else to do.**

* * *

Connecticut was smart, there's no doubt about it. He spent much of his time reading or studying or both. He was often held up in the labrary, which was gigantic even for a house of fifty plus and therefore a great place to hide away in when family tension becomes too much.

But as smart as Connecticut was he always seemed to forget about one little but very important fact.

"Connecticut!"

And by little we actually mean big.

"Shaddup, we ah in a library!"

And by one we actually mean two.

"You shut up you conceded--"

"You ah one to talk!"

Yes, Connecticut's problem rested in his two  _loving_ siblings; New York and Massachusetta who like to fight over everything, especially him for reasons her didn't fully understand.

"Connecticut, come out come out wherever you are," New York called. "Don't you want to spened time with your  _favorite_ sister?"

Connecticut didn't respond (obviously) and tried to blend into the wall.

"Hey how 'bout this," Massachusetts said. "Who evah finds him fuhst gets to keep him."

It was slient for awhile and Connecticut started looking for an escape route; he found none.

"Fine," New York finnaly spoke. "But I'm going  _this_ way and don't you follow me!"

"Like I want to."

Connecticut felt trapped, much like a mouse stuck between a cat and a mouse-trap (New York is the cat by the way, if she ever found out he compared her to a mouse she'd _kill_ him no matter how much she likes him...if 'like' was even the right word). He coudl hear there footsteps getting closer and closer until;

"Connecticut, I found you!" Massachusetts came from his right.

"Oh no you don't!" New York said from his left. "I saw him first!"

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did!"

And this is where Connecticut's genius kicked in, "Hey look...Maine and uh, Jersey are going on a date..."

"WHAT!"

As the two states were distracted with look for their other siblings Connecticut dashed out of the library to the only place where Massachusetts and New York would never think to look.

"Hi uh...Arkansas, can I read in your room?"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headcanon: Connecticut is one of those people (states) that's pretty popular but he doesn't really know why.


	8. Delaware

* * *

**Delaware: Come, we've got low incorporation fees! No seriously, please come.**

* * *

What was wront with her? You know, besides her complete lack of expression.

She was a good person...state. She was kind, a good listener and never argued with anybody (mostly because she felt arguments were absolutely pointless, but still). So why did it seem that nobody liked her?

"Hi Del, how are you? Didja miss me, didja, didja, didja?"

Expect for Pennsylvania...

"Shut up Penny. She doesn't want to talk to you."

And New Jersey...

"Mind your business, guidio punk!"

"Hey, I told alls youse guys this already; the Jersey Shore isn't my life!"

But then again, having Pennsylvania and New Jersey isn't saying much.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...I hear that Penn and Jersey don't get along that well, but they both LOVE Delaware; everyone else...not so much. They don't hate her they just don't really think about her all that much, which is strange because she's the FIRST STATE; that's second in command to D.C.


	9. Florida

* * *

**Florida: The more north you go the more south it gets.**

* * *

Florida was sitting in her living room petting her pet alligator, Mark. She was busy thinking about something Geogia said;

"You ain't as southern as me!"

This made no sense to her, mostly because she was the most state in America! She was so southern that she was next to Cube!

She complained to the other souther nations; Kentucky, Mississippi and Tennessee.

"Hm...now that I thank 'bout it," Kentucky said rubbing the few strands of blonde hair that grew on his chin. "It kinda makes sense..."

"What?" Florida said. "How exactly does that make sense?"

"It's like this sug," Mississippi said. "A lot of yo' people are from up north--"

"Yur as much a yank as them up there!" Tennessee cut in.

"And yuh got a lot of Cubans."

Mississippi and Tennessee nodded in agreement. Florida frowned; this was ridiculous she was just as southern as the rest of them! And she was going to get Georgia to admit it!

**-(The Next Day)-**

 Goergia was in the kitchen getting ready to pour herself a nice big glass of sweet tea. But just as she was getting ready to take her first sip, she was knocked over by an alligator!

"Flo'da, get your gator offa me, fo I turn him into a pair of shoes!"

"Admit that I'm just as southern as you and I'll tell him to get off."

Georgia sighed, "Fine, fine, your just as southern as me!"

Florida nodded and smiled, "Good, now say that oranges are better than peaches."

"No they ain't!"

"Too bad," Florida shook her head. "Get her Mark!"

"Ow--!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I know that there are a lot of things about Florida, but the video went with this one, so here it is!
> 
> Peaches vs. Oranges; who will win, you decide! Leave it in a review...if you want.
> 
> Up next...Georgia (one of my favs because I use to live there~!)


	10. Georgia

* * *

**Georgia: Atlanta! We're kind of ashamed of the rest of it, though...**

* * *

Georgia loved her capital, Atlanta. Why, you may ask; well the answer is very simple indeed. It's because of Coca-Cola.

_Duh._

This lovely drink was sold in over two hundred countries and the people can't get enough. Ha, take _that_ North Carolina!

This made her proud, having people from all over flock to her city made her chest swell with pride. It was when people started visiting the other counties that Georgia got a little worried...

"I can't believe it! There are actually places here that don't have electricity!" New York was flabbergasted.

"Only in Georgia..." Florida mumbled.

Georgia glared at the girl, "Go home you annoyin', swampy, gator eatin'--"

"I. Do not. Eat. Alligators!"

A fight ensued; peaches and oranges went flying through the air covering everything except their intended target. New York was not amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The little bit about North Carolina has to do with Pepsi being created in North Carolina and Coca-Cola being created in Georgia. Me and my friends commonly believe that Pepsi and Coke are rivals. I even saw Pepsi steal the 'Polar Bear' thing from Coke commercials! Bad Pepsi!


	11. Hawaii

* * *

**Hawaii: If you lived here you'd be lazy too.**

* * *

Let's get on thing straight; Hawaii is not lazy. She's just really, really, _really_ enjoyed relaxing. In between the work she had to she liked taking breaks...very long breaks that usually involve hour long naps.

You can't blame her either, she's young and kids need their naps.

"Bullshit," Indiana whispered as he looked down at the sleeping Hawaiian. "She's not a little kid; she's a state and has work to do!"

Hawaii shifted slightly in her sleep.

"Shh, let her be." Louisiana said. He brushed a strand of her black hair from her face, "Besides, she is very cute when she's sleeping, no? Sleeping, unconscious, totally unaware that--"

"...Go away Louisiana."


	12. Idaho

* * *

**Idaho: Potatoes and Nepoleon Dynamite...God we're cool!**

* * *

Idaho smiled happily, this was not unusual seeing that she was naturally a happy state. But yes, she smiled happily because she had a brand new toy made for her by Michigan! This brand new toy was going to help protect the very real fact that she was cool.

 Now obviously she wasn't cool in the same way as say...Massachusetts, who was really smart (when not drunk) and had a cool accent (in her opinion). But she was still cool.

For one thing she had Nepoleon (Dynamite not the French guy) and his sweet dance moves. Oh yes.

Another thing that makes her cool is potatoes. Yes potatoes; you can eat them in to many different way. Like mashed, or fired, or in thin slices, or baked. But potatoes aren't only good for eating. They also made _very_ good projectiles.

"Hey Idaho," Nevada called. He was with Louisiana and California, "When are you going to come and see me?"

"After she sees me of course," Louisiana responded.

"I want to see her too!" California said not getting the joke.

And this is when Idaho pulled out her toy, which just happened to be a potato launcher, a high powered potato launcher to be exact. She aimed it at the trio pointing it more at Nevade and Louisiana who were laughing hysterically, California just looked really confused, and she pulled the trigger. A potatoe went rocketing towards the group and hit  Nevada right between the eyes; he fell unconscious. The smile suddenly dropped from Louisiana's face and his French blood boiled causing him to run away taking California with him.

"That was great," Idaho smiled to himself, hugging the launcher. "I'm going to have to seriously thank Michigan for this! Hm, maybe a nice potaot salad..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Michigan should not have given Idaho that potato launcher. Now she can't be stopped.
> 
> And the American Bad Touch Trio! I hope you guys get the joke that Nevada and Louisiana were saying. (HINT: Think about her name).


	13. Illinois

* * *

**Illinois: Look! A non-corrupt politician for once so far...**

* * *

When Illinois found out that his politician was corrupt an that he was lied to...again, he was a little more than pissed off. And he decided that he was going to do something about it; namely beat the living crap out of the bastard. So he grabbed a basball bat and walked over to the man's office where he was probably gathering his things from his office.

He was walking down the street swinging the bat until he was stopped in his tracks by none other than Alaska. The tall boy had a smile on his face holding a mini potted sunflower in his hands.

"Hello Illinois," Alaska said happily. Illinois just stared at him because this is the fourteenth time Alaska's been over at his place in the span of a month; seriously, it was weird to see his norther brother so much.

"I can't talk right now," Illinois said.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm going to beat beat someone up."

"Your politician," Alaska asked tilting his head to the side.

"Wow, you heard about it already?" Illinois pouted.

"Da," Alaska said.

"You know dad doesn't like it when you speak Russian."

"It is a free country; I will speak whatever I want."

Illinois thought for a moment, "Yeah I guess. But I gotta go."

Illinois moved to walk around Alaska, only to have Alaska step in front of him again. Illinois raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"I think it'd be better if you spent time with me today."

"But--"

"Aw come on," Alaska said. "You act like you won't get another bad one."

Illinois frowned. "I said I'm bu-- hey," Illinois cried as Alaska picked him up in one arm, still holding the mini sunflower in the other hand. "Put me down!"

"Nyet." Alaska said. "I think we will go on a date!"

"What!" Illinois exclaimed as a blush rose to his face.

"Don't worry, it'll be fun I promise!"

"W-Wait, Alaska!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hm...what is Alaska thinking?


	14. Indiana

**Indiana: You have to drive through us to get somewhere better.**

* * *

 

"Ow, watch where you put your giant feet!"

"My feet aren't that big!"

"Yo-"

"Shh!"

Right now New Mexico and the Dakotas were slowly making their way over to Rhode Island's room, and they were coming up on some dangerous territory; Indiana.

Now they loved their brother, they really did, but just because they loved him doesn't mean that they want to sit down and listen to him talk about messing around with some old junk car or about how Illinois is a jerk. They heard it all before and it was getting old.

So they slowly and quietly (well, as quietly as you can be when hanging around with the Dakotas) made their way past Indiana's room.

"Ow! South watch it!"

"You watch it!"

"Hey," New Mexico said turning around to face the twins. "I said be quiet!"

South Dakota was about to say something when she noticed something behind New Mexico, "Um...N-New Mexico..."

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up!" New Mexico said, completely ignoring South Dakota. "Do you _want_ Indiana to hear us!"

"New Mexico," North Dakota said.

"What?" New Mexico said.

"I can't be _that_ bad, can I?"

"Dios mío!" new Mexico yelled and turned around to see Indiana standing behind her with his arms crossed. She cleared her throat, "Um...haha, hi Indi."

Indiana didn't say anything, he just stared at his sisters.

"It was all New Mexico's idea!" Both the Dakotas yelled and ran down the hallway towards Rhode Island's room.

"Those stupid little..."

"You really don't like hanging out with me?" Indianan looked a little hurt.

"Uh..." New Mexico stammered. "No, I was joking...You know I love hanging out with you..."

Indiana slug his arm around New Mexico's shoulders and smiled, "Really? Well then let me tell you about the car I found in the junkyard that I'm fixing up! She's a real beaut."

New Mexico forced a smile on her face, "Oh joy..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Indiana has a thing for cars (just like Michigan) and he doesn't really enjoy Illinois. But yes, here's chapter 14 and 15 is on the way!


	15. Iowa

**Iowa: 60,000 square miles of dull...**

* * *

 

Iowa was a simple state. Let me repeat that; Iowa was a _simple_ state. Do we understand; he's simple.

Not boring. There's a different, you know.

But yes, he's simple and since he's a simple state he enjoys simple things; like corn.

"Corn's a wonderful vegetable," he said with a lazy smile. "It's so versatile. You can boil it, or grill it, make corn oil with it or popcorn--"

"Iowa," Washington said bluntly. "No one gives a  _damn_ about stupid dull corn."

Iowa pouted but kept his mouth shut, because he knew that there was no point in arguing with an idiot. An idiot who doesn't like corn.

What a fine day for Nebraska to be sick at her house...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iowa and Nebraska, the corn obsessed states.
> 
> Hm, you know a lot of the states have weird obsession. Wisconsin has cheese, Colorado has snow, Idaho had potatoes...I'm sure Massachusetts (My state~!) is obsessed with lobster (and his sister New York but don't ask him about that XD).


	16. Kansas

**Kansas: White-breads making Wheat bread.**

* * *

Kansas stood in the kitchen with a scowl on her face.

So what if she was good at baking bread (and maybe she kind of enjoyed it), but just because she was good at it did not mean that she would be good at cooking (which is different from baking) Christmas dinner for fifty-two people...personifications...whatever; fifty-two people and a whale and an alien! _Seriously_ , a whale! 

But here she was, sweating away in the kitchen while everyone else was off doing something fun... 

"It ain't fair..." she mumbled. Right now she was in the middle of cooking the tenth friutcake, another sweet potato pie and she still had to think of some vegetarian meal for California. "They better he thankful for all of this work I'm doing... _by myself_!"

**~ (Dinner) ~**

The entire family of the USA, plus Tony the alien and the whale (don't ask how he fit in the dinning room) gathered in the extremely large dinning room. Everyone sat at the table; and for those who were seated next to someone they didn't like it was less than joyful.

"The food looks great!" America said.

"Thanks," Kansas smile happily.

Missouri rolled his eyes, "Whatever...bet it don't taste  _that_ good."

Kansas glared at Missouri and opened her mouth ready to say something to her "border-buddy" when she looked at the mashed potatoes on her plate. A mischievous smile spread across her face as she scooped up a spoonful of mashed potatoes and threw it at Missouri. Missouri paused when the potatoes hit his face.

"You," Missouri started and wiped the potatoes off his face. "You stupid little--"

"Shut up you're just mad because I can cook  _way_ better than you an I kick your ass at football!"

"WHAT!" Missouri roared.

"So much for having nice and peaceful Christmas..." Ohio mumbled as Kansas and Missouri started fighting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Border Wars between Kansas and Missouri continues! Those two have been fighting since "Bleeding Kansas" and the Civil War and the fighting still goes on today but in the form of Football, Basketball and Baseball games. Rivalries between states seems to be a common thread.


	17. Kentucky

**Kentucky: Farming from the future; textbooks from 1925.**

* * *

 

New Hampshire stood in the doorway of her room in pure shock.

Kentucky stood close by laughing nervously, "D-Don' worry Hamp...I uh, I can fix...this?"

New Hampshire took a few steps into her room, which was now  _covered_ in corn and twisted a cob off a stock. She spun around and threw the cob at Kentucky.

"I c-can't believe you..." she sniffed and rubbed her eyes.

"Wait, wait, wait don' cry!" Kentucky said; the last thing he needed was Vermont all on his ass. "Let me fix it..."

"How can you fix it! My room is full of corn!" New Hampshire yelled as tears filled her eyes. "What were you doing anyways!"

"I was testin' a new type o' fertilizer and corn seed--"

"In my  _room_?"

"Um...w-well--"

"Vermont!" New Hampshire yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Hey!" Kentucky exclaimed. "There was no need fo' that! I coulda fixed--"

"What wrong?"

Kentucky froze in place; a feeling of dread crept over him. He slowly turned around, looking at Vermont.

"Where's yo' shirt?"

"Lost it."

"...Whut..?"

"Vermont," New Hampshire said. "Kentucky covered my room in corn!"

"Did you just say corn?"

The trio turned and saw Nebraska and Iowa walking towards them. Nebraska looked inside New Hampshire's room and beamed at the sight before her.

"Wow! You're so lucky!"

"No I'm not!" New Hampshire said. "I don't want it there!"

"Can we have it!" Nebraska and Iowa said in unison.

Kentucky had used this time to slip away and back into his own room.

"Okay, note ta self," he mumbled as he sat on his bed. "No mo' test runs in the house..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da~! Here's Kentucky, and he's not a total hick (I get tired of people portraying him that way)! But yes next up is... *drum roll* 
> 
> Louisiana! Can't wait!


	18. Louisiana

 

**Louisiana: Thanks BP, like we didn't have enough problems...**

* * *

Louisiana was sitting in his bed with a box of tissuses by his side. Damn BP, getting him sick and forcing him to stay in bed! It was bad that he had to cancel a date with the  _lovely_ Cleo. That was unforgivable!

He sighed and wiped his nose; it hurt slightly since his nose was now red and raw, "This is  _horrible_!"

Louisiana flopped onto his back and stared at the ceiling and coughed violently. But then his doorbell rang...twenty times in a row.

Louisiana sat up and slowly made his way to the door, coughing the whole way. He opened the door and saw Florida, Georgia and Mississippi standing at his doorway.

_"My dreams have come true~! Three beautiful girls standing at my door and they're all here for me~!"_ Louisiana thought happily. Then he frowned,  _"Now...only if I wasn't sick..._ _"_

"How ya feelin' Loui?" Mississippi asked; behind her Florida and Georgia were arguing as usual.

Louisiana sneezed in response. Mississippi sighed and stepped inside the house.

"Don' worry sug," Mississippi said. "We'll take care of you! Hey, you two stop fightin'!"

" _She_  started it!" they said together. Mississippi just rolled her eyes and walked into Louisiana's kitchen, Florida and Georgia were right behind her. Louisiana closed the door and walked into the kitchen as well.

_"Hm...well just because I am sick doesn't mean I can't charm them,"_ Louisiana thought before clearing his throat. "So, what brings you  _lovely_  ladies to my house?"

Mississippi shook her head, "Sick, and you still flirtin'?"

Georgia giggled, "Since you was so sick I thought that I could make you feel betta. Then Missi said she'd help an' then  _'Gator Girl_ ova here  _had_  to come along..."

"Hey! I was coming over here anyways!" Florida yelled.

"Will ya'll stop yellin'? It ain't good for sick people," Mississippi said. She then led Louisiana to a chair and sat him down, "How about a massage, to make yuh feel better?"

Louisiana nodded and sighed as Mississippi massaged his shoulders; he should get sick more often.

"Here Loui," Georgia said. "I made you nice hot tea. It's kinda of...sweet but it should help your throat."

"Ah, merci." Louisiana smiled.

"Geo'gia," Mississippi asked. "You didn't leave Florida in the kitchen by herself, did ya?"

Georgia blinked, "Oops..."

There was a loud explosion from the kitchen and smoke filled the house. Florida came running upstairs her hair curly that represented the Florida Keys was smoking.

"Don't worry," Florida coughed. "I only blew up  _half_ the kitchen this time!"

_"Okay,"_ Louisiana thought.  _"Maybe I shouldn't get sick more often..."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hon hon hon hon~! Yeah Florida can't cook and will probably never learn, poor girl. XD


	19. Maine

 

**Maine: A wicked lot of moose, eh?**

* * *

Poor Maine was seriously lacking in the identity department. It's not that she didn't  _have_ an identity, she had a wonderful identity; it's just that people didn't see it  _at all_. Most people saw her as another Massachusettes, which she  _could_  be. Some saw her as another part of Cannda (Who?), which she could  _also_  be.

But people forget that she is  _Maine_ ; not another part of Canada, and she definately wasn't  _Mini Mass_. She was Maine, with her beautiful forest, wonderful people and her majestic moose (yeah, she loved her moose, so what)! And she was going to let everyone know it!

With new resolve Maine walked into the family room to tell her siblings what's what. As soon as she stepped into the room she was hug-attacked by California.

"Hey Mini Mass," he cooed. "Like, how are you doing?"

Maine huffed, "I am not a Mini -"

"No," Nevada shook his head. "She's Canada's unofficial Province!"

"Um no~," Cali said. "She's Mini Mass."

"Unofficial Province!"

"Mini Mass!"

"Unofficial Province!"

Maine just sighed; no one ever listens to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listen Mini Mass!...I mean Maine (sorry)! Heehee, I'm on a roll~! I always pictured Maine as a cute short girl with big eyes and curly hair (she's adorable!)


	20. Maryland

**Maryland: Have Jeeves bring the lobster boat around.**

* * *

Maryland wasn't a snob, not at all. He just didn't see the point in getting dirty when he didn't have to.

"Oh what, you're too good to dig for my potatoes!" Idaho asked.

"I did not say that," Maryland shook his head. "I just...don't want to spend my time in the dirt."

"It's not dirt, it's soil," Idaho said. "You can't grow things in dirt. Besides, you said you would help me with whatever I needed help with after I saved your life."

Maryland sighed when she brought up  _that_  incident again.

"Please Maryland," Idaho pouted, which wasn't fair because she knew that he couldn't resist a pouting female. "I could really use your help..."

Maryland sighed and nodded, "Fine...but I am  _not_ digging in the dirt...soil!"

Idaho smiled, "Thanks!" She dragged Maryland off and he immediately started regretting this decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh, I think boys tend to want to make girls feel better. *Nods* That's why Maryland's going to end up covered in soil! And while some say that Maryland is a girl (for various reason) but that's not my headcanon!


	21. Massachusetts

**Massachusetts** **: Our chief export is obnoxious Pats fans…**

* * *

To say that the states were proud of their sports teams would not be wrong. Sports are a great source of pride and for some it's the only thing they got going for them. This is to be expected from one of the most pride filled nation in the world.

Now…the state that is most prone to this pride is Massachusetts. Oh yes, that bastard from up north will let you  _and_  your whole family know how great his sports teams are, and who could blame him; he had the Boston Red Sox (Hell Yeah!), the New England Patriots (Fuck Yes!) and the Celtics (Meh).

Yep, because Massachusetts sports teams are the best.

"And you bettah nevuh fuhget it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh you giant Masshole you! You know what I think...I think Massachusetts has an ego just as big as New York does he just hides it when he needs to...unless he's drunk, then everything's out in the open (Thank you England and Ireland)!


	22. Michigan

**Michigan: (Draws two perpendicular lines) Cereal makers (on the vertical axis) Serial Killers (on the horizontal axis and circle where the two meet)**

* * *

Michigan sat in his garage working on an old car that Indiana had given him for a late birthday gift. He wiped sweat from his brow and decided to take a break and head down to the kitchen for a snack.

When he made it to the kitchen it was pretty full; New York and Massachusetts were arguing (nothing new), Louisiana, Nevada and California were harassing people (again, nothing new) and Ohio was…being Ohio. But he was just going to ignore Ohio because he was in a good mood today. Michigan poured himself a bowl of cereal and started back towards his room.

"Hey Michigan!"

He turned and was met with a water balloon to the face, causing him to spill his cereal all over himself. Michigan looked up and saw Ohio clutching his stomach and laughing his ass off. Michigan clenched his fist and glared at Ohio, there's goes his good mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, I'm not too happy about this one but here you go! Hope you enjoyed it!


	23. Minnesota

**Minnesota: Too nice _not_ to elect douche-y governors.**

* * *

"I can't believe  _he's_ your new governor," Florida said with her hands on her hips.

Minnesota twirled a piece of hair around her fingers, "W-Well...I um..."

"He's a freaking douche bag," South Dakota nodded.

New York sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes, "He's dirt, an asshole, a puke slim gutter ball cock dick."

"He-Hey," Minnesota said and stood up. "He's not  _that_ bad. And my people voted for him, doncha know?"

The other three girls held up their hands and backed off. When Minnesota got mad you backed off.

**~(Later on)~**

_"Breaking News, Minnesota Governor caught with the other woman. More at seven,"_  the TV blared many months later.

Minnesota sighed and placed her face in he hands, "Oh no...I can't believe it happened again..."

"Told you," Florida smirked.


	24. Mississippi

**Mississippi: I'm gonna need a bigger bible belt...**

* * *

The Good Book. It was one of the only things that she could be sure of anymore. With the rapid changes the country was going through, some good and some bad, The Good Book is one of the only sure things that still exists.

So Mississippi would spend a few moments of her free time just reading some of her favorite passages. It was peaceful...until of course her siblings storm into the place. First it was New York and New Jersey came storming in arguing about who was a more terrible driver (they were both horrible in her opinion). Then Nevada walked in with Utah right on his heels.

"I'm trying to save your soul!" Utah whined with a pout on her face.

Nevada rolled his eyes and walked faster, bumping Mississippi's chair in the process, "My soul's just fine, thank you. I'm too a-fucking-mazing for hell."

But Mississippi could deal with that. It was when Louisiana came sneaking up behind her. Louisiana had the unnatural ability to become a ninja and just appear places; no one knew he was there until he was already caressing some part of the body. That's when the good book really comes in handy...

"Hello chérie~," Louisiana purred. "How are you this fin-"

Mississippi didn't respond verbally at first; instead she closes her book and smacks Louisiana in the face... _hard_. "I'm doing  _much_  better now!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, here's Mississippi. She's very lovely (I see her as a total babe!)


	25. Missouri

**Missouri: We're #1...in...meth**

* * *

I'm not a drug addict! That's Rhode Island...no matter what she says...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay~...This is just a silly little joke. I can't find the original link to the info but yeah. Here.

**Author's Note:**

> I had this story up on FF.net and wanted to post it here.


End file.
